First off lets just say starting to run for me is like walking across a bed of nails. I don't know why but it feel's like torture in the beginning, but once I get going there is no turning back and the benefits are mental, heads above physical. Here is why:
I was lucky to learn early in life that exercise made me feel better as I did gymnastics when I was young.( I often thank my time in gymnastics for giving me some lifeskills I may not have picked up otherwise. The reason I run being one. )
I always hated running during gymnastics training. We ran around our industrial gym building outside in the scorching heat. It was boring, it was hot and seemed to kick my ass even in my best shape. After however I had this amazing sense of accomplishment, a massive endorphin rush and mental edge inspired by conquering the dreaded run. After gymnastics I did not run for years.
Something people may not know about me is that I lived in a shelter two times in my life. Once as an almost teenager with my mom and sisters than again leaving those same years after being on my own for most of them. The second time around was scary beyond measure. It was my first time in a big city and while I had survival instinct I was not prepared for the darkness and pain behind those walls despite my own. I was at a loss. Living in an environment like that no one is in a good space. Rising above feels next to impossible, but I was determined. I needed to find a way to feel good and fast before I sunk further. I was not sure how I would accomplish the things needed to get out and find my own stability unless I could find a tool to keep me motivated in the thick of it. With no money and no family to turn to my options were limited. Young women with feelings of despair and hopelessness were all around me and I too found this way of thinking beckoning me. I needed to find something to help me shift my thoughts and empower my mind so I could face the daunting tasks before me.
So I ran.
I got up every am and went outside and ran. Each day I ran further. Each day I ran faster. Each breakfast , angry young women would scowl at me and make statements like " you think your better than us don't you?" and that is amongst the kinder statements. I would want to crawl under the table to avoid the scrutiny of it all. I was desperate to connect with my inner strength, so I stayed the course.
Running was an accessible gift I gave myself at the start of each day that became a metaphor for perseverance and inner strength that carried me through a very dark moment in life. A had the ability to feel a sense of accomplishment that would feel the start of my day with hope in a place that felt hopeless.
While a story of struggle may seem familiar to some and not to others I encourage myself and those whom I know to think of healthy ways you can uplift yourself when your down, and inspire us to live better and with purpose. Sometimes this means doing things that take us out of our comfort zone. Reminding ourselves of our strength and to face things by welcoming the emotional freedom that comes with it.
Well wishes,
Andrea
